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peepintomyblog.BS.com.
About Me

Photobucket

Kenny Goh
08th November 1990

He said,

One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.

Kenny Goh | Create Your Badge

Listening.




Talk To Me.



Pasts

<April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010


alternative exits.

» Bobo (:
» Cherry (:
» Class 512(:
» Delphine (:
» Evelyn (:
» Jas(:
» Jessica (:
» Jia Yi(:
» Joanna(:
» Katherine (:
» Kelvin (:
» Li Kuan (:
» Luanne (:
» MinEr (:
» Naomi (:
» Patrick (:
» Pei Wen (:
» Raphaelle (:
» Rhian (:
» Ruby (:
» Sandra (:
» Sista Walla (:
» Sharon (:
» Simon(:
» Stan (:
» Thaddea (:
» Xenia Teo (:
» Xin Yi (:
» YiPei(:


Saturday, August 30, 2008

Im in the hospital now.
overnight at the hospital again.
the 2nd night.
was accompanied by my brother and cousin sandra.

7.50am.
we are waiting for the doctor to come over.
the nurse told us that the doctor will be coming over at 8am.
yap, we are still here waiting.
luckily, my brother brought the lappy to the hospital.
if not, haha, i dun know what am i going to do for the whole night.

brother is sleeping now, cousin sandra just woke up.
we spent the night watching videos from youtube.
grandpa is lying on the bed, panting and staring at the walls.

the nurse told us that grandpa might be able to discharge today.
that's why we decided to stay behind and hear what the doctor say.

grandpa's condition?.
was bad.
the intestines, organs are all infected.
due to old age and past medical history.
water retention.
no medicine can be cure his condition.
so we are now simply waiting for the day to come.

seeing him lying on the bed, doing nothing, panting heavily left me speechless.
the hands full of bandage and blood clots that had already been there for days, doesnt seems to be wearing off make his hands look more worse than ever.

somehow, this thought came into my mind.
will i be like that when im old?.
im sure no one want to be in this situation.
but still, is unpredictable.

im treasuring the times im here beside him, watching him doze off to his LaLaLand, feed him with water, hold his hands tightly to let him know that im here with him by his side through the night, watching him every minute to check on his breathing.
and keeping this image of him and time with him in my heart.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/30/2008 07:43:00 AM


Friday, August 29, 2008

Grandpa's condition became worse.
when i was walking home, i received a call from sandra cousin that grandpa's condition worsen.
i rushed to the hospital immediately.
when i reached the ward, almost all my relatives were there.
after greeting them, i heading to the room.
room 24 bed 5.
there he was.
sitting down on the bed breathing not breathing is actually panting.
i hold his hands.
i gripped it tightly.
i dun want to let go.

i guess the doctor did their best.
i spent the night over at the hospital with sandra and katherine.
thank katherine for accompany me at the hospital.
didnt go to school.
i got auntie yen to call miss leong.
everything is fine except grandpa.

and now is just the matter of time.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/29/2008 03:21:00 PM


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

went to the hospital to visit grandpa after my school today.
im glad that he's getting better,
he seems better than the day he was admitted.

everything is better now.
school wise, things are better than i expected?
i got to really wake up early and work harder.
i dun want to disappoint the teachers and myself.

thank you everyone for being so encouraging and supportive during my very down period. especially my DARLINGS.
thank you so much.
if you guys were not there at that point of time i really dun know what's the outcome?.
:-)

Finally, im at ease now :)


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/26/2008 08:32:00 PM


Monday, August 25, 2008

i need time to be mentally prepared for the worst.
but the more time im going to take, the lesser time he left.


i took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
there he was.
lying on the bed,
with tubes attached to him,
his hand was filled with patches of blood clot.
his eyes was tired, he's just basically staring in the air.
he started waving, waving to no one.
my heart broke into millions of pieces.
i cant imagine the person who is lying down on the bed is my grandpa.
i touched his hand.
his hand was cold.
and the skin on his palm started to dry up and left the dry skin.
he is simply too weak.
too skinny.
when you helped him on the bed you can feel the bone but not fats or anything but just the bone.
i tried talking to him,
but he remained silent.
he keep staring at the walls above him.
i felt helpless.
i cant do anything.
i cant understand him.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/25/2008 02:21:00 PM


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Grandpa was hospitalized.

was back from the hospital first.
didnt like the feeling and atmosphere in the hospital.
so i decided to come back first.

the doctor told me us that he's old already.
ya true he in his early 80s.
his windpipe and liver is not functioning very well.
that's why he had a hard time breathing.

the doctor is still checking his body.
from head to toe.

im worried for him.
i hope he's ok.

my granduncle told me something just now in the hospital.
i knew this was coming.
the feeling that my grandpa was hospitalized was different this time.
i got to prepared myself.
i cant bear him to leave me.
i love him.
i love you, grandpa.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/24/2008 01:34:00 PM



I was woken up by my grandma.
she asked me to accompany her to the hospital.
because of my grandpa.
He has not eaten anything since two days back.
only water he took.
and he seems restless, no energy and tired.
he dun even have the energy to go to the loo.
he just let everything out on the bed.
im scared,
im worried,
but i cant break down at this moments.
i need to stay strong.
i really need to.
i cant afford to lose anybody at this moments.


sometimes, i would want someone to hold me tight and make everything ahead of me clear so that i can walk down the road without anything blocking or stop me.
im tired of life.
but i know that i had to carry on.
because i always know that my friends, darlings are always there for me :)

cut peiwen's hair yesterday.
hope she like it. :)

There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
im tired of this.
i really need a break.

im disappointed, im speechless by your actions and words.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/24/2008 10:51:00 AM


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Im having my 'O' level English Oral Examination later in the afternoon.
and im still half-awake from my sleep.
now is 11.15am.
Three hours later, i will be in the small, quiet room with two unknown strangers trying to read a passage, describe a picture and talk about anything that they are going to ask me.
i can sense the feeling coming back.
the nervous and the mind is blank kind of feeling.
Queensway Secondary School.
the school they posted me to for my retaking 'O' level exam.
and
the School i graduated from.

can i actually do well this time round?.
will i at least score better than D7?

well, is all depending on myself.
i hope i can do it this time round.

Im meeting Rups darling and all this coming friday.
I seriously miss them lots.
so need their warm hugs.

I LOVE MY



peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/21/2008 11:22:00 AM


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

school's over, lesson finished and another day gone.
well, I'm touched.
was reading Simon's blog.
the same reaction or feeling as him?.
i was surprised.
after so long since we graduated,
we do still viewing each other blog.
i didn't expect him to view my blog?.
well, the truth now is ya, he do view my blog and i do also view his blog.

i always remembered the times when we were in school.
in class, letting the music that we once loved into our ears.
enjoying the music, gossiping about McFadden, talking about delta?.
and the family tree thingy.
well, Katherine the mum, me the dad and him the son.
the happy family we called.

but now, we all changed.
different inspirations, different goals, different target and different perspective of life.
but still, there's one thing in us still not changed.
the memories, we the happy family once had. :)

he's in Melbourne now.
well, the parents in Singapore.
but seriously,
Simon, life is hard in Melbourne for you.
but...
dun give up.
continue striving for the things you aimed and wanted.
the road to it is hard and lonely.
stay strong.
always remember in Singapore, all your friends are here misses you and we are praying for you.
you are not forgotten by us, you are always our the best vice-chairman in secondary school.
whenever you are down, think of us.
maybe you will feel better?.
we will be here waiting for you to come back and join us for Christmas :)
so take care of yourself, continue working hard and come back visit us with your lovely smile and your jokes?.
when you are back, your mum will definitely feed you with her poison cakes?
hahah.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/20/2008 06:26:00 PM


Monday, August 18, 2008

today MONDAY, 18-08-08, i did not attend school.
well, i am tired and feeling not very well.
every morning i woke up, beside brushing my teeth and wash my face, i need something. something that can make me really awake and a good start of my day.
COFFEE.
while im drinking coffee now while blogging. :)

this morning i woke up, the first thing that came into my mind is when is my O level english oral examination?.
i find and find for that piece of paper that lying somewhere in my room.
i found it.
it stated English Language Oral 21/08/08 14:15.
god!. is on this coming thursday.
and you know what?
i have not even done one reading nor picture description on my own.
i guess i have to skip another haircut practical on thursday.

i was reading simon's blog.
what if his name was Aaron instead of Simon?.
will everything change?.
i wonder.
while reading through his blog, i realized that everyone started to change or already changed.
is just the matter of time.
we all no longer those small, little, cute, innocent kids.
we are now grown up, experienced, mature teenagers going adults.

so what if my name was Galvin instead of Kenny?.
will my life now different?
will i still be the Galvin?.
sometimes i even wondered is the Galvin in Kenny?
is the Kenny in the Galvin?.

but kenny learnt one thing through galvin is that no matter how hard our life is, we just need to bite our teeth and fight till the end.
at the end of the day, we not only win the battle, we also gain new experience and we also do learn a new lesson in our life.
and Galvin's belief that LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL :).



peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/18/2008 01:21:00 PM


Monday, August 11, 2008

Did i did the right thing?
Am i myself?
If im myself, then why am i feeling so depressed right now?

Yesterday, i saw you.
i didnt use the word i THINK i saw you or MAYBE that's you.
cos i can feel that that's you.
even though the place was dark,
but i know that's you.
the features of yours betrayed you.
i didnt expect that you will be there.
somehow im doubting whatever you have said to me.

i know im not supposed to feel this way
i know im not supposed to care.
i know im nothing to you.
but.....
i know that you are not nothing to me.




peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/11/2008 04:11:00 PM


Sunday, August 10, 2008

Am i in love?
or
Am i in a crush with someone?

LOVE.
love someone is easy.
but comes to lasting the relationship, it takes great effort and time.
every individual has different definition of love.
My definition of love is im willingly to give up everything that i have or own for my loved one.
many people take love for granted.
only after they lost it, they start to appreciate it.
i used to take it for granted but now i learned to treasure and appreciate it.

Can i really fall in love again?
after some many things happened and after all the things that i have been through?

Rups's grandpa passed away last night.
after the long struggle fighting the battle, finally he is at ease now.
rups darling, after the long battle with your grandpa im sure you have learnt many things from him.
every thing do happen for a reason.
he leave this world without anyone beside him for a reason.
like what you said he wanted no chilling moments, no one witness his last breath and be haunted by it.
girl, after so long i want to tell you, you are a very very strong lady.
now is time for you to let him go happily and peacefully.
i know that you always love him and he is now a footprint in your heart.
even though he had went to the other magical world, im sure he will still be watching you from wherever he is because he do love you too.



peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/10/2008 02:12:00 PM


Saturday, August 09, 2008

Empty and Speechless.

these are the two words to describe my feelings and life right now.
im no longer living the kind of life im leading in the past.
care-free, problem-free, happy go lucky kind of life.
NOW is just problem after problem.
Im so sick of faking myself with a face that is not myself.
im so sick of everything that coming into my life without any meaning.
is like im letting the door open widely and welcoming all the problems and peoples that i never seen nor experience before.
Life is like black and white.
only after you found your loved one then your life will be filled with colours.


Suddenly i had this thought.
Maybe i didnt break myself,
Maybe the problem was i couldnt break myself,
Maybe some guy aren't meant to be tamed,
Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.


Maybe i falls into the category.


peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/09/2008 04:22:00 PM


Thursday, August 07, 2008

The month of August.
The birthday of Singapore lies in August.
not only that, many of my friends 's birthday somehow also lies in the month of August.
well, i have celebrated one of my DARLINGS birthday......... RUBY!.
this year celebration was a successful one?.
i think so. cos i did enjoyed myself and really have fun.
Rups darling, i hope you enjoyed the birthday celebration we planned for you.
and please! for heaven sake, believe the fact the you are 18 already.
lol.

well, apart from all the birthday celebrations and stuffs,
my exams are coming!. REAL SOON.
god!.
you know what the other part of knowing exams coming, im actually more anxious about the holidays straight after the exams rather than the exams.
lol.
ha! what a student i am.
but im sure im not the only students who feel this way.

and recently, Miss Leong, the CA for my class.
CA in the other way mean form teacher.
ok back to track, because of all the latecomers in the class who have been always late for class and they can come to such extent that they can be late for class for one and an half hour , she decided that from Monday onwards, those who are late for class more than half an hour, she will get the most 'talented' student in haircutting (you see i use the '___', mean the CMI student) to cut our hair.

god!.
this is unbelievable.
and you see those who knows Galvin/Kenny well, they should know that the latecomer who have been late for class and to such extent that he or she can late for one and an half hour is obviously referring to me. hahah.
i cant be late for school anymore.
is part of human nature in me la.

ok now i really got to go liao.
have to get prepare for school.
meeting Cherry and Kelvin Lee at 11.30am.
but now the time is already 10.55am and im still at home.
Shit!.
see, is part of the human nature in me.
and cherry is starting to nag at me in msn liao.
got to really go now.












peepintomyblog.BS.com 8/07/2008 10:08:00 AM